i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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