He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
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