we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
