Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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