i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Randomize
