party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
