I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Randomize
