I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Randomize
