you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
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