spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
