We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Randomize