I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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