Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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