Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
