Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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