Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
