stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
