i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
where am i from again
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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