Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Randomize
