guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize
