Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize