I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
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