dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
These tits shall not be calmed
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Randomize
