DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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