This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
