I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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