worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
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