he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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