I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize