I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
Everything about him screamed your future.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize
