you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize