I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I am midnight drunk by noon
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
