What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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