..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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