I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
