Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Randomize
