I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
