i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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