ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
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