allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
