Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
