dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
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