Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Randomize
