So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
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