Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
