So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Randomize