Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
