ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
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