I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
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