just come out here and I will go home with you...
Your dad touched me again.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Randomize
