you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
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