Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
