While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Randomize
