I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
