i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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