I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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