i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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