I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Randomize
