I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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