Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Randomize
