Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
