U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
dude i'm inner monologue high
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I forgot how hot balto sounded
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
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