how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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