do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
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