Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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