pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
