Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
