At least make sure they are 18
Why
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
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