How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
kristin has been a bad kristin
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
