just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
He has the fingertips of a God
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