if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Randomize
