So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
