Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
