So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
