I want to stick my p in your. b.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
