I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
