girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
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